Andy Todd
My made-up life: tall tales and short stories
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Article on Chortle today about Scottish independence. The article was edited to remove part of the last line and some additional paragraphs. I’ve added the original last line back as I think it makes the point more clearly that Scottish independence is not just for Scottish comics. Article: Everyone should be joking about Scottish independence […]

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Today we launched ‘The Fat Minister’s Question Time’ on Kindle Direct publish. It’ll be the first book to poke fun at Scottish independence – and it’s also an experiment. I write jokes on Twitter under @todddandy. Sometimes those jokes lead to ideas in this blog, some of those ideas lead to opportunities as I can […]

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Latest video from a gig at Dundee’s Bright Club on Tuesday 21st January 2014.  

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Hello. My name is Andrew Todd and I’m a hypochondriac. Some people have a cough. I don’t. I have lung cancer. Some people have a twitch. I don’t. I have sclerosis sclerosis sclerosis scleroris, also called multiple scleroris.  Some people have nothing at all.  I don’t. I always have something. I’ve even had Motaba, the fictional […]

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Last night I was offered drugs. At least, I thought I was. I’ve never been offered drugs before. It might have been a travelling chemist hanging around the toilets of an up-market Glasgow bar. Which would be handy. “Aspirin, sir? It will help stop a hangover in the morning.” “I don’t mind if I do!” […]

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It’s Friday. It’s time to go to the pub but first I need to do something stupid – I need to go to the cash machine and plan my night out. This is one of life’s pointless moments. I should take out the maximum allowed as I know by the time I wake up I’ll have […]

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My final Jukebox Durie column for the Scottish Comedy FC. Our top 10 countdown of the best (worst) songs of the year continues… 5. Newcastle United As Newcastle United become less ‘likely lads’ and more ‘likely garcons’ the official anthem of Newcastle United has been given a makeover as Blaydon Races was updated for the […]

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Clubbing has three ages. There’s ‘under age’. That’s the first age, the age when you sneak into clubs brandishing a terrible fake ID while pretending you’re 36. “Yes, my name’s Neil Armstrong and, yes, I’m an astronaut. Why do you not believe me? It says so right here on my ‘Space Driving License’. No, I […]